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  • Writer's pictureSuzy K Quinn

20 Funny Supermarket Substitutions. Ha ha! These are hilarious …

20 Funny Supermarket Substitutions

Ever ordered your supermarket shopping online? Half of us do these days, apparently. Do you tick the ‘no substitutions’ box? Or do you let the supermarket replace out of stock items with their own choices?

If you’ve ever let the supermarket decide, then I’m pretty sure that, like me, you’ll have had some funny supermarket substitutions popping up in your shopping crate.

I asked my friends on Twitter and Facebook for their funny supermarket substitutions and they came up with solid gold. Listen to these crackers:

  1. Ordered facial clensing wipes and got Brillo pads. Pores have never been so clear … if not a little sore.

  2. Tesco swapped my hair dye colour from brunette to blonde.

  3. Got a pack of Bernard Matthews frozen turkey steaks instead of a whole organic turkey. On Christmas Eve.

  4. Three giant Yorkshire puddings replaced with three Yorkie bars.

  5. A tea towel replaced with a garden trowel.

  6. Ordered cinnamon as I was making a rice pudding and they substituted for chilli flakes.

  7. Napolina Butter Beans for Cif Bathroom Cream Cleaner.

  8. Steak and kidney pie with liver and kidney dog food.

  9. Ordered just a birthday cake which wasn’t in stock so they were substituted all the ingredients to make it myself.

  10. Ordered Tampax and got Tena lady. Another time, pampers.

  11. Ordered Prosecco and got Shloer.

  12. Duck breast substituted with a Chinese meal.

  13. Scholl cracked heel repair cream replaced by SlimFast powder. And another time, Scholl hard action foot file replaced by Strepsils!

  14. Ordered mince and got quorn chicken style pieces.

  15. I ordered a can of Mr Sheen Polish and received a bottle of sweet sherry,

  16. I ordered a joint of beef recently, planning a Sunday roast. The substitute corned beef slices was a surprise.

  17. The pharmacy gave me anusol (for piles) instead of ambesol (for tooth ache)

  18. Ordered a ‘2’ birthday candle for my son’s second birthday. They substituted it for a number three! Why not just send normal candles?

  19. Ordered chicken wings and got Body Form sanitary towels with wings.

  20. My hubby is a .com driver and he’s had some bemused customers. He doesn’t know what they are until he takes the shopping to the door. One lady got 2 Brussels sprouts instead of 2kg. She practically threw them at him and asked how she was meant to feed a family of five.

Any funny substitutions to share? Come chat to me on Twitter of Facebook!

And if you laughed at this article (in a good way) and want more, you might like my romantic comedy, ‘Bad Mother’s Diary’.

It’s a funny feel-good read about a woman who’s had a baby with a massive twat. And it’s a bestseller! People like me, honest!

You can get a free starter library in the pink box below.

Love Suzy K Quinn xxx

Suzy K Quinn is the author of new motherhood fiction, the Bad Mother’s Diary

Bad mothers diary, motherhood fiction

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